"Don't Say That"

Yesterdays discussion was hard but important. Though I kept silent throughout, I was thinking a lot. To be honest, I was quite emotionally drained after but still, I was glad for it. Now, I'm gonna ramble a bit so try to follow along. I have a lot of faith that by the time I am a more adult-y adult, my generation will have helped move society forward- to be more open, more accepting, less judgmental. I have been fielding racist complaints at my summer job since I was 17 and been fighting hard against them since, particularly ever since that first summer when I was told, "trust me, after a couple years here you'll be racist, too." It has always made me mad and sad to see this but I have no plans to ever give in. It has been obvious to me more than a few times during this semester that these sentiments are pervasive throughout. I don't think it's intentional, nor to I think it is right to attack people for their mistakes. Attacking only makes people defensive and nothing good will come from it. There are many tricky terrains we must tread not just as people but as teachers, as well. In a personal example, I am someone who sometimes mixes up with "people first" language. Not because I think that someone's conditions define them but because that is the language I have been used to hearing throughout my life. But also as an English major, I understand that it's not meaning that affects us, so much as connotation. Words that might have once been acceptable are used negatively and thus the negative connotation follows. Words acceptable in one time might not be in others, or in other places. We talked a lot about culture last class and whether it is right or wrong to assume that everyone shares the same culture. This gets to be a very awkward subject when we talk about the people of a race other than our own, but I think maybe I can make it a little easier. I spent five months studying in Ireland last year. This was a fabulous experience and I am doing everything in my power to go back as soon as possible. But even though I was in an English-speaking country, there were more than a few situations where cultures clashed. For example, in Ireland to call someone a "spaz" is as bad as saying "retarded". I did not know this- how could I when spaz is a word that is often used affectionately here in America, equivalent to calling someone hyper? But one time when I said it, I was sharply reprimanded by an Irish boy who said "don't say that." I couldn't tell if he was being serious or not and it was a really uncomfortable situation. Later I asked my Irish roommates if the boys were being serious and they explained to me the connotation in Ireland. I was careful not to use the word again, but I wish the boys had understood that I wasn't saying it to be rude, I just didn't know. Additionally, I often struggled with being known as "The American." In my small dance classes, most never learned my name, just asked "is the American here today?"Or, even better, once a kid said, "You're American? Well, I'll forgive ya." It was embarrassing and confusing to know people had an idea of what to expect from me because of the idea they had from what they thought about my country and so I would never want to do that to a student. I want to be aware of where my students are from, and what that might mean, but not ever assume they know something or are something or act a certain way because. I came away from this class with three things: connotation, situation, and most of all, to never ever asssume. I want to see my student as people- multi-faceted people who have been built up a definition of themselves by all sorts of things. Maybe they are a person who's black, or a woman, or a man, or has dyslexia, or has a hard time at home, or is a great student, or who's brother died from cancer, or who has a father in the military, or a mother in jail. They could be any or all of these things, and to know these things will help us understand. But first, and always first, they are people. They are teenagers. They are students.